Our Own Worst Enemy

As someone who is rooting for our gender to win and a supporter of women empowerment, it pains me to see just how disrespectful and outright mean women in authority can be to their fellow junior women.

Finding women in the workplace who are doing what you dream to accomplish is not always easy in certain industries as they can be few and far between. As a woman with goals to be successful in the work I do, I always want to see women winning. I want to nurture those below me to achieve their goals and I look for women who can mentor me in the workplace to enable me to successfully meet my goals.

Unfortunately all the women I have worked under directly (with the exception of one Indian man) have been the worst work experiences I have ever had. I had this conversation with my cousin and he mentioned that he had witnessed the hostility women face under that management of fellow women.

As someone who is rooting for our gender to win and a supporter of women empowerment, it pains me to see just how disrespectful and outright mean women in authority can be to their fellow junior women. The first time I experienced it, I asked a colleague what I might be missing that has caused the conflict. “You are a threat to her. She sees you as competition for the attention of your male counterparts and you hold the position she held. You can easily replace her.” I was dumbfounded to say the least. Her aggression towards me had nothing to do with my actual output.

My other boss who mishandled me had a bad reputation and the staff turnover averaged six months. One colleague was hired and left the organization within seven days. Her issue had nothing to do with me, but it was definitely a personality issue. When I left, they called me four times in three months trying to see if I would be willing to go back. I am not one to eat my vomit and I advise never to accept a counter offer. Do not do it! They will start looking for your replacement and as soon as a replacement is found, they will frustrate you with the intention of making you leave.

It is these experiences reporting to female bosses that saddens the side of me that fights for women empowerment. How is it possible that we as women can purposefully tear down another woman who you should be mentoring? I find it hard to reconcile that people climb a ladder but do nothing to lift others up. “We are our own worst enemies”. I never liked that saying but I have come to see just how true this statement is among women in the workforce. I hope that one day we will be enemies with real foes, rather than seeing a fellow woman as a threat.